not me that I inflict, it is me who instigates I'm back here!
You were anxious to see me, eh?! Happy 2010
late!
Tomorrow I have an exam to study but before I had to download. Then today is my birthday so I do what I want.
What got me back on this livejournal despite the crisis-mystical literature? This beautiful joke
(note the look of shrewd Patty)
After half an hour trying to decide if I decided to choke or vomit soffomitare (Dr. Cox teaches) and then my vein criticism was unleashed, and because at this time every spark of creative inspiration any more than welcome, not resist, I wanted to speak my mind, on the basis of Roman Jacbson and Vladimir Propp, that because I studied a couple of years ago I hope I remember well ...
The fact that this time there has passed half a twilight may be a coincidence or maybe not, since I've seen since New Moon (yes, I know, I do not like because I look at it? A little 'because I do not like being left behind, a bit 'cause I wanted to hurt me and I admit, a little' for curious to see what else has invented Meyer. Anyway I was saying ...) fried my hands by the desire to download a bit 'of indignation, but because of the aforementioned crises have failed to do anything. So listening
Hamster Dance, I have decided to analyze a bit 'more attention to the work of Meyer aunt.
premise, I do not hate anyone. Hate is a word too big to be used lightly, there are very few things I hate. The rest goes from 'I love', through 'I like', 'do not go crazy', 'the bad bear', up to the 'just can not stand it'. Twilight falls within the band say that 'the resents', not to be too bad.
My philosophy on twilight.
Then go!
all started from a dream of Meyer (see?! I have documented before writing! This does not seem to have made the Meyer ... Of course, I did it on a gossip magazine, but then it is not ; mica
on my fault if you do not find in the anthologies). Here we should call into question the beloved Freud, but I do not make him feel like this, so I'll try to get along alone, partly because so much I do not think Stephenie's subconscious is so complicated to interpret. There
a girl, Bella, and I quote Wikipedia, which cites the same Meyer-who "has a very clear complexion, with long hair and hair color, dark brown eyes and a chocolate brown. Her face is heart shaped, has a broad forehead and the hairline to the tip, large eyes and well-spaced, prominent cheekbones, narrow nose, jaw and narrow pointed chin. Her lips are slightly out of proportion, a bit 'too full for the jaw line. Her eyebrows are darker hair and more straight than arched. It is 1.63 m high, lean but not muscular, and weighs about 52 kg. Her fingernails are stubby, due to his nervous habit gnawing. And here's your detailed description. "
Amazing! It almost seems that Bella is the alter-ego of Meyer! But is Mary Sue Meyer's, which might seem the same, but in reality it is not.
were saying, this is a protagonist and main character falls in love, so suddenly, of a handsome, rich and intelligent (???) that just as suddenly returns infinity ammmore.
From these data we can assume that the author, inspired by a dream he wanted to combine business with pleasure, that make his adolescent dreams in a book to proclaim to the world what would had happened in the old days of school, turn his fantasies into reality on paper and maybe try to get Quelch penny from it.
If it had been limited to this I would not have had anything to say, I swear. But then the aunt Meyer decided that to make things more interesting, the love of the two protagonists had to be a bit 'more turbulent and maybe a bit' outside the box. So here's a brilliant idea! And we transform into a vampire! But not a vampire any. Vampires are evil, creatures of the night, hideous beasts saguinarie, do not go well, no, no, we want to give that example to young people? Then raped a little 'literature and popular culture and transform the vampires glitter in mosquitoes, so do a lot more fashionable, do not disturb the poor minds when they read 'vampire' already gloomy scenarios are imagined and violent deaths (but I try vampire stories for this , looks a bit 'stupid that I am ... I go to find creatures devious and cruel and frightening strorie in a book about vampires ...) and rip those poor creatures from the dark evil of the darkness that surrounds them.
decided what we are missing a few things to decide to write a book.
1) Narration. The happiest point of view could be the omniscient narrator, but since we can not discover now that Edward is a bloodsucker is not good in treason. Storytelling storyteller with an objective outside observer is not informed? Are you kidding? How do we know the most profound
Bella's feelings? Then we use the most cunning expedient of marysuesco narrative: the first person present tense! Just to point out that Meyer wants to be Bella.
2) genre. Love stories can arise in all literary genres, so we are spoiled for choice. "Since I lean towards the gothic vampires. What do you say aunt Meyer? "
" The Gothic? The Gothic is not at all good for the guys to whom this story is talking! "
" So why call into question the vampires? Mah .. but then what kind is this? "
" But romantic, no! "
" Mmmm ... not convince me ... to write a romance was just needs to call into question the vampires? "
" Of course you do, otherwise where is the news? "Already
where is the news? After all the love stories are all the same ... Lancelot and Guinevere, which had different by Renzo and Lucia?
3) function of the text. I know, then I go to be pedantic, but I have had to study it to me so now you can also make the effort to read and perhaps you will thank me when you become good writers. So ... Roman Jacbson has rightly pointed out that a literary text is a type of communication and as such provides a sender (Aunt Meyer), a receiver (who as a hobby, by chance, by luck or masochism to read / watch twilight ), a message ("Bella loves Edward and if you do get by the Edward loves you too! But let's not forget that first love is the aunt of Ed Meyer), a means of communication (book or motion picture film ... in my case is the second) and a code (Anglo-American for those who can afford it, Italian for those who lack the courage to read it in its original language because it is hoped that those who have translated just wanted to make a joke in bad taste or more just for those unfamiliar with the language). That said, Jacobson also understood that in a literary text, there is a function that you can reconnect with one or more of these elements. Simply put: If the message is then concentrated on the issuer will need to communicate something about the writer, such as moods, if the message focused on receiving his conative function is then called, that will change the behavior of the recipient, if the message is focused on the environment will have an informative function and so on.
Now, our Stephenie has decided that his book would be an example of the guys (and we will see later what kind of things he teaches twilight), and then comes into the conative function, but since Bella is a Mary Sue is not could do without the emotional function. Unfortunately, in these cases there is a conflict, because what for some may be a good teaching does not mean it is for others. So I refer you to some courses for me a bit 'doubts, twilight:
a) pedophilia is allowed if the major shows 17 years;
b) have friends only serves to accompany you somewhere to buy a book;
c) drive like a blind drunk that he believes to be playing the play station stirs up the girls, the girls could die in that car for a move is too risky;
d) caring of the fact that you are attending a dangerous person is very rebellious and therefore very cool (I have to specify here that I do not speak in particular Ed sucks blood, but real people like sex maniacs, murderers and psychopaths sellers pans door to door) and
) if you're not nice you are worthless and you will approach any girl ever ... unless he is blind or ugly as you.
And here I stop is because I'm getting headaches and it is because it's my favorite letter.
4) texture. Bella falls for Edward, Edward falls in love with blood and by extension of Bella Bella. But wait, something is missing. Recall for a moment looking at the Russian fairy tales that Propp had discovered that there are details that occur each story the main character (Bella), for any reason (
expulsion from the mother to leave the mother free to live her life with her new husband) is away from the situation (Phoenix). Through his journey (in this case will be the sole Forks) the protagonist wants to achieve a goal (Edward), but something hinders it (the fact that Edduccio is a vampire). Ok, so far we have, but ... do not miss something essential? Wait, I have it on the tip of my tongue ... a moment ... but of course! The antagonist! Remedied immediately. Because somewhere we should even let us in the fact that Edward is a ciucciasnague, why do not we do that even his opponents to be like him, only more evil? Auctions did you need to do that this does not obscure the centerpiece of the story is the love between Ed and Bella. Ok, we insert them ten minutes to the end and we are alright.
good as the first book is not bad, huh? But with two books might make more money and since there is no two without three and the fourth comes from if we make a beautiful WATERPROOF four volumes and done deal! Forests destroyed? But do we care if Bella and Ed can be together and our dream adolescence can last longer?
Then we have the players the tormented love, evil vampires that move all but only an insignificant parentheses undying love of our young heroes ... For the second book we have to invent something new. But what?
course! A triangle lovvoso! How did we not think about it? But Aunt Meyer knows more of the devil, and then ... tadan!
What? The nerds? Adjust the aim.
Oh, that's better! Yes, yes, much better! And so did Meyer Jackpot and was able to simultaneously monitor the brains of all those people (most girls do not say why, alas, I discovered that the twilight-madness has also reached young men and women in middle age) who, like Meyer's dream of a world here on Patty for the team Edward and Jacob are Lautner for the team to take him to the land of unicorns to dance with the teletubbies rivers and drinking synthetic blood.
But how can a simple boy pumped steroids to compete for the love of Bella and glitter against the immortal Edward? Let's make a little 'more interesting and while we're still pull in the dance world's cultural heritage without first documented e. .. let's become a werewolf!
Well, now that the characters we write the history.
Bella, on her eighteenth birthday, wakes up scared because sooner or later she will age while Edduccio Puccio will remain forever young and cool. But we want to play? A beautiful girl can not just do not fade and become a grandmother. No sir! Urge a remedy. Must be transformed into a vampire. Who cares if he will be damned for eternity, if you will be tormented for the rest of his life-not because it will suck away their lives to continue to quasi-live?
us just one thing: vampires, vampire, not sbrilluccicanti succhiasanguedicervi (henceforth ciucciacervi and vulgarity is absolutely intended) do not turn humans into vampires to other pure-hearted, because even if they had a good heart would not allocate any other human being to their own fate. They can do it for evil, of selfishness, for pure entertainment, not as a favor to someone.
What was I saying? Ah, yeah! Bella does not want to grow old, is so disgusted with not wanting to accept even the birthday greetings. So I ventured to make a point more to Charlie because he tells her to have even one hair white.
At school we discover that when Bella is with Edward's friends are now close to and tells us the bare minimum, only asking them to take a picture for his album ...
The only friend that you save is Jacob, but as they like to Edward ...
This leads to the birthday party that organizes Alice Cullen home, there's cake, there are no gifts, no gifts PAPER whom I respect very much (just one in particular, because I hate those so much tiny nicks) that ops ... leave a nice little cut on the finger of Bella and here begins the fun! Jasper and Edward
part in the attack, captured by the ghost anti-twilight, Bella decides to take out trying to pass a bailout for the slam against the wall. Beautiful indeed, after the beating, lose even more blood in a house full of bloodsuckers, but still emofagi vegetarians. The intervention of Carlisle
unfortunately deprives us of the joy of hope for a quick end to the saga.
Edduccio he drove Bella home and part of the scene that we were fed for months and months in the trailer, so there is still talk about it.
After the unfortunate incident, Edward decides that, for the good of Bella, but especially for not having Bella in the middle of the foot (no, not true ... the last part I added myself to make a bit 'more real than all ...), the Cullen family must move away from Forks, Bella and then abandoned in the woods with the latest, unique and unnecessary Bella's recommendation for not getting into trouble. We by skilled interpreters film which we know that this means that Bella will make a crap after another.
In fact, after a period of three months passed, it can be seen, on a chair looking out the window and do the psychopathic Charlie waking up in the middle of the night with screams could be heard only in a medieval torture chamber, Bella discovers that doing the worst idiocies that his brain can see Rattrap advises Edward, hologram version, but still Edduccio. Is not that wonderful? The ammmore always wins!
Wait a minute, but had not discussed triangle?
Good. Bella throughout all alone without his lovlov decides that smash your head bumping into a tree while riding a bike is really a brilliant idea to bring up Edward. But where to find the bike? It finds that wrecked two are just for her. But not to be battered so why not use some 'little Jacob who so kindly offers to help in the enterprise?
said than done, Bella is a little 'Jacob the owl and he hopes that Bella will be forgotten And that will do it soon or we may fall like an owl and decides to help her.
Once you have finished placing the motorbike go! Edward appears on the road that I hope will always get rid of Bella in my head and then affixed to distract the girl so that goes crashing to the ground with the bike. For (s) Luckily there that Jacob went to help the poor lamb e. .. but who does? Why is rake? Ah, there's a bit 'of blood running down his face beautiful. There are also young girls around the world who can not wait to see some 'meat and authors who can not wait to find out what they have collected after you see the trailers all those sculpted abs. Jacob
However we do not need more, so we can download. Who cares if he goes to grief-stricken part of a dissolute group of werewolves that are thrown down rocks in the sea?
jumps off a rock? Now that's a Ideon to bring up Edward and maybe push him to come looking for us! Bella is a genius!
And our hologram-Edduccio Bella arrives but can not return to the surface, but fortunately or unfortunately, Jacob is still there to save her. I must say, here a little 'Jacob I was on the dance ... but oh well.
back home are Alice, sister of Edward visionary who wanted to make sure that Bella was dead to prepare a banner, but goes wrong (no, really, is it me or Alice's face when he sees that Bella is alive looks really disappointed?).
While Thelma and Louise talk about the time Jacob answers the phone. Who could it be? But Edduccio! So what? He is told that Charlie is planning a funeral, so the fessacchione believe that the prophecy about the death of Bella has made and will be killed by an ancient family of powerful bloodsucker in that of Volterra, just to remember that if c ' is to search for a family of criminals of any species is going to look in Italy, where we know we are all a bit 'criminals.
rejoice rejoice! Edduccio finally are going to die and the story will end! But no ... Alice tells Bella and Edward do what he wants to leave together, point blank, for Italy, leaving poor Jacob again like an idiot to lick their wounds.
Volterra A witness another exciting show of muscles rippling and puts us against super villains, without the slightest trace of fear because you love to do this and so much more and because Bella, like all Mary Sue, is ; indestructible and immune to the powers of the enemy. But no need to save big fights or super strategies, just say the head of the gang of bloodsuckers that there is no need to kill Bella because she becomes a vampire, and he, as a good fool, be content, calm down and let them go away happy and content doing their best wishes for a long and beautiful non-life together. I just smashed in the testicles as to get killed, I would have tortured and for the rest of its non-life ... but I'm not a Volturo, so ... Home
Cullen to vote to decide whether Bella will become one of them and all, after the brainwashing of Meyer, accepted to suffer for the rest of eternity with Bella attached to ... calves. All but Rosalie, which if you remember was the one I endured, but if you continue to remember his opinion did not count before, so why should count now? Cruelty, cruelty ...
The film ends with a "Will you marry me?" By Edward to Bella, who made me bend on the toilet seat for hours.
So, let's review the situation. Bella is invincible, will become an immortal ciucciasangue as he wanted, has vampires, werewolves and humans behind the smear and in all that I ... I can not help but point out that my indignation is STURP literary twilight. I'm sorry, but this second film not only has not improved the situation but has deteriorated further.
are bad? Well, whether it is twilight! It haunts me because I react!
soon! Nuclear Energy Act
